


Baby, Don't Be That Way

by BasilHellward



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Crack, Established Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Gabriel Being Gabriel, Humor, M/M, Wordcount: 500-1.000, well. more like 'attempted humor'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-07-12 12:53:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7104247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BasilHellward/pseuds/BasilHellward
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam walks into the motel and stops dead when he sees a baby lying on the couch. He looks closer and, when he recognizes the kid, nearly drops the bag of groceries in his arms.</p><p>"Uh, Gabe?"</p><p>"Yes, Samsquatch?"</p><p>"Why is my brother a baby?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby, Don't Be That Way

**Author's Note:**

> This took me like, three hours to write. I take myself too seriously to write crack fic...  
> Shout out to Bertie_McSwiggin for making me write it anyway, and to missmagic for naming it for me :)

Sam has learned to expect the unexpected. But this? This is just ridiculous. 

He had only gone out for an hour or two at most to buy groceries, thinking Dean and Gabriel could manage not to kill each other for that amount of time. When he comes back, neither of them are actually dead, but Sam had still been very, very stupid to leave them alone together. 

Sam walks into the motel and stops dead when he sees a baby lying on the couch. He looks closer and, when he recognizes the kid, nearly drops the bag of groceries in his arms. 

"Uh, Gabe?"

"Yes, Samsquatch?" Gabriel says, not looking up from the book he's either reading upside down, or is pretending to read. Sam assumes it's the latter, since he's also wearing fake glasses -- this is probably Gabe's idea of acting natural. 

"Why is my brother a baby?"

"You're right, Sam, he is really immature." 

"Gabriel," Sam says seriously, and he looks up at Sam. 

"He called me a whiny baby, so I turned him into one," Gabriel shrugs. 

"Change him back."

"Nah."

Sam rolls his eyes. "Please?"

"He hasn't learned his lesson yet," Gabriel says, turning back to his book. 

Sam sighs. He knows he's not going to win this argument, so he lets Gabriel have his fun — _for now_.

He turns to look at Dean again, who is sleeping soundly and, Sam notices, wearing the same clothes he was when Sam left, only baby-sized now. He has a blanket over him, too, which means Gabriel must have tucked him in. Sam has to bite his lip to stop from laughing at the thought.

"Did you knock him out?" he asks. 

"Um, no..." Gabriel says very unconvincingly, taking the stupid fake glasses off. Sam shakes his head. "It was for his own protection! If I'd left him conscious, he probably would've crawled to the fridge and drank a beer or something, and then he'd die, and you specifically told me not to kill him."

"Uh, no I didn't, I just _thought_ 'they better not kill each other,' stay out of my head," Sam says, then, after a pause, "wait" — again fighting the urge to smile 'cause then Gabriel _definitely_ wins — because something's just occurred to him. "Does that mean he's still mentally thirty-something?"

"Yes," Gabriel grins smugly. 

Sam can't help it — he loses his shit. He laughs so hard he can't stand up, and then until he cries, and then until he thinks he might black out. 

"Oh my god, Gabe," he manages to wheeze eventually, wiping tears from his eyes. Gabriel just continues to grin down at Sam, looking very pleased with himself.

Sam's laughter must have woken Dean, because now he's sitting up as far as his infant body will allow him to and glaring at Sam. Which just makes Sam burst out laughing again. 

When he calms down again, Sam gets to his feet and picks Dean up. 

"Maybe you should just leave him like this," he says to Gabriel and Dean shouts wordlessly at him. 

"You think?" Gabriel laughs, standing on his toes behind Sam to look at Dean over Sam's shoulder. He wraps his arms around Sam for balance and Sam leans his head back against Gabriel's. "Don't worry, he'll change back in like, a day."

" _A whole day_? Gabe, that's too long, unless _you_ want to look after him. Babies are disgusting," Sam says, throwing Dean in the air and catching him, and Dean freakin' _giggles_. 

Sam feels Gabriel pout against his neck. "But he's much cuter this way!"

Dean fusses angrily at that, and Sam frowns and shrugs Gabriel off so he can turn to face him. "Dude, shut up!"

"Aw, don't be jealous, kiddo. You're still my favorite Winchester," Gabriel smiles, hands still resting on Sam's hips as he leans up to kiss Sam on the nose. 

"Thanks," Sam says flatly, smiling and rolling his eyes, then, "you're really going to leave him like this for a whole day?"

"Nah, I think he's learned his lesson, and I don't feel like spending my night babysitting," says, wiggling his eyebrows at Sam. "Put him down and I'll change him back."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! If you have a minute, please leave a comment telling me what you thought, I'd love to know! If you don't have a minute, just leave some kudos ;)


End file.
